Changing Religious Beliefs

I was born into a Catholic family and attended a Catholic school from K-12. We went to church every Sunday, and we went to church services during school hours, and had Religion classes. We prayed the rosary. Sometimes my parents would talk about God. My dad had gone to a seminary school for a short time. We didn't read the Bible at home. We talked about God very little in my house. My parents were quiet about God. Maybe they thought we got enough religious teachings in church at school. Maybe they weren't as sure as they appeared. I will likely never know.

We had a particular brand of Christianity, much different from what is on display in America right now. We didn't believe that rich people were more worthy. They were less worthy. Jesus said it's more difficult for a rich man to get into heaven than for a camel to pass through a needle's eye. I grew up idolizing and being taught to idolize Mother Teresa, to respect the work that Bono was doing for poor nations, and to give to others during weekly masses. Prosperity gospel is foreign to me, an antithesis of what I was taught at home, at school, and in my community. While some of our prayers asked for blessings, most of our prayers were thanking God. Thank you for this day. Thank you for this meal. Thank you for my family. Thank you for my health.

So, it was hard to lose my faith, because my faith was calm and comforting and, for the most part, loving. This is not withstanding the teaching that we would be cast into eternal damnation if we were "bad" in this life. This wasn't of great impact on me, personally, because I always believed in reincarnation despite repeatedly being told that didn't happen. Reincarnation made sense to me, and being cast into hell for 8,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999+ years because you were bad for 30 years didn't make sense to me. Early on, I decided that couldn't be true. Therefore, reincarnation must exist.

I lost my faith because I read the Bible, and the Bible didn't agree with itself. Sometimes I still pray like a Catholic would pray. I sometimes say the "Glory Be". "Glory be to The Father, The Son, and The Holy Spirit, as it was in the beginning, is now, and ever shall be, world without end. Amen." It's odd when you don't believe. Sometimes I pray for the strength to handle problems, or to say thank you. I replaced my faith with agnosticism, a realization that I just didn't know. Eventually this was replaced with a feeling that I didn't need to know. Why would God need to tell us? Why would God feel compelled to let us in on all the secrets?

I found a church that also didn't know, and they didn't pretend to know. The first time I walked into a Unitarian Universalist church it felt like home. UU's believe in service, without any creeds or specific beliefs. Here's a link, if you want to learn more about what UU's believe: Beliefs about Life and Death in Unitarian Universalism | UUA.org

It was at this church that I found Tashi. Tashi was a guest speaker. He looked like a normal older white guy, except for his monastic robes. When he started speaking, he had a big booming voice with an accent that didn't' seem to be from any place in particular. He told jokes, made sense, and was interesting. He led weekly meditations at the church, and I started drop by occasionally. For over a year, I was an occasional participant. Even though I enjoyed these meetings and found them helpful, I was still circling around the edges. Then Tashi got cancer. Not to make it about me, but I realized that I needed to prioritize my time learning, because time was shorter now. Tashi seemed to think the same, as he started going deeper into the teachings and imparting more and more of his decades' worth of learning. And as he continues to teach, he asks us to spread the word, and to teach others. I do this not just for myself, but for Tashi. I wouldn't know much of anything about Buddhism without him. He is unique, and special. I will try to pass on what I know, taking into account the 4 seals of Buddhism, the ways to know if a teaching is true. I see the world through a different lens now, and I'm ready to make some changes. I actually believe something now about life after death, and how that should affect our day-to-day. It all starts with relieving our suffering - feeling better. We could all use some of that.

If you'd like to listen to Tashi, he has a guided meditation on YouTube and has a mind training series there as well. The link is below.